Saturday, April 24, 2010

In Honor of Mother's Day

This year, I decided to do something I’ve never done before on my radio show. For both Mother’s Day and Father’s Day, I am hosting a three-part series of conversations on “Relationships 101” leading up to each holiday. If money spent is an indicator of importance, $14.6 billion spent on Mother’s Day every year. This is second only to the Christmas holidays.

The first in the series is a conversation that was posted this last Monday with Dr. LeslieBeth Wish. She is a marriage and family therapist based in Sarasota, Fl, and her family therapy training was virtually identical to mine. So we had great fun sharing our mutual knowledge and being on the same wave length with each other. The “marching orders” I gave here were to provide an overview on why there often tends to be so much conflict in mother-daughter relationships. In broad brush strokes, some of the reasons are competition for the father's attention or to be the fairest one of all, jealousy at the daughter’s youth, the mother’s displacing her anger at herself onto her daughter, and the daughter using conflict as a tool to separate and individuate from her mother. You’ll have to tune in to the show to hear the rest.

This coming Monday the conversation is from the mother’s perspective about what parenting a daughter can be like. I spoke with Julie Pech who intuitively is just plain a good mom. She gives her 14 year-old daughter and 12 year-old son the freedom to explore and discover who they are while still helping them learn self-discipline. And she doesn't smother them. She shared stories and offered hints about how to be a good mother who acknowledges her children’s individuality while still providing structure for them.

The third in the series will air on the Monday before Mother’s Day. It features a conversation with a woman whose mother was harsh with her children because she was frustrated with her life. It seems she was born a generation too soon. My guest is Karel Murray, who talks about how, when she was 26 years old, she took charge of her relationship with her mother so that eventually, they would develop a loving connection out of what otherwise could have been a lifelong disaster for both women. She describes the before and after of this very important relationship and offers suggestions for my listeners regarding how she went about creating the relationship the two women finally had before the mother’s death.

Tune in to hear each of these fascinating stories from the perspective of both mothers and daughters. My shows are posted every Monday afternoon and three times throughout that week. But don’t worry if you can’t listen in live. Shows remain in the archives for three months. So there are plenty of opportunities.

Join me at “Relationships 101” on

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