Friday, August 13, 2010

Blending Thoughts and Feelings

“It’s not what happens to us in life.
It’s how we deal with what happens
that counts.”
Dr. Beth Erickson

We’ve all known them: people whose I.Q.s are in the stratosphere but who are dumb as posts. They have no common sense. They lack people skills and consciousness of those around them. A current example of this type of person is the outgoing CEO of British Petroleum, Tony Hayward. He displayed his Mr. Spock-ness when he whined to the national news media that he wants his life back, oblivious to those in the Gulf of Mexico who may never get their lives as they knew them back.

We’ve also known people who seem not to have a brain in their head. Their lives are driven by their emotions without the tempering provided by standing back and evaluating their options from a realistic perspective. Actor and current newsmaker, Lindsay Lohan, could be the poster child for this type of person when she acts out her adolescent temper tantrums.

As in anything, operating at either extreme is precarious.

My definition of a mentally healthy person is one who is able to think and feel at the same time. Yes, I know that doing this can be very difficult to do, especially when feelings run high such as in a heated argument with your spouse. But it can be done. And people are well-advised to learn to do just that.

Being able to blend the two allows people to use their feelings as a valuable data source that leads to sound decision making and eventually a satisfying future.

My guest this coming week on "Relationships 101" to discuss this topic with me is Suzanna Abbott, creator of a series of telesummit interviews called from Failure to Fearless. She interviewed a group of people, including yours truly, on their stories of going from failing to being fearless. It could be said that her panel of experts can use a blend of the two.

The abuse of parishioners by clergy is a hot topic today. But did you know that members of the clergy also are abused by parishioners?

Rev. Jackie O’Neal speaks with me on the topic of clergy killers. Not literal killings, but emotionally abusing them so that clergy are forced out of the ministry at the rate of 1 every 6 minutes in the U.S. A primary cause of this is parishioners whose problems with authority are acted out upon the religious leader who represents the Ultimate Authority.

Join me on Monday after noon 8/16 on or Tuesday 8/17 at 6:00 p.m. Eastern time on WWPR 1490AM in Sarasota, FL.

I hope you enjoy the show.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

From Failure to Fearless!

When Thomas Edison was trying to create the electric light a newspaper man from New York City came to his Lab in Menlo Park and asked him how many different experiments he had tried. His response was well over 1200. When asked by the reporter how can you continue to pursue this after that many failures and Thomas Edison replied. I have not had a single failure. I have proven conclusively more than 1200 ways that absolutely do not work.

On Monday, August 16, on I have a conversation with Suzanna Abbott on from failure to fabulous. Some very important points are made but failure is more than an event that occurs in one’s life. If you have tried to master some sport and have discovered you do not have the ability to be good at it, you have not failed to learn the sport. Like Edison you have discovered positively that you need to employ your skills and talents in another arena.

No one is a failure if you give your very best but still do not accomplish your goal. A failure is someone that wished to do something but never risks starting toward that goal because they fear they will not be successful. Regardless of what you desire you must take the responsibility of trying to achieve it or you will be a failure and it is always self-imposed.

Adopt the Edison attitude and try everything until you find your personal niche. We are not all born equal in physical agility, muscle mass, intelligence and most other human skills. Just because you can’t dunk a basketball doesn’t mean you cannot enjoy the game

Listen in on Monday afternoon in Chicago to learn more of From Failure to Fearless. Here is the link.