How to Spot a Narcissist

On my radio show that airs on Monday, August 29th, I introduced the first in a three-part series on narcissists: who they are, how to spot them, why they are so seductive, how to leave them, and how their insatiable desire for adoration makes them so seductive to codependent people.

Narcissists are decidedly a mixed bag. They are very appealing at first. They have a keen interest in charming the opposite sex. They are entertaining and exciting, but they are also aggressive and manipulative. They have a powerful need for attention. There is a strong link between narcissism and physical attractiveness, which is part of their initial charm. There is also a strong connection between narcissism and leadership. Because they are so desirous of admiration and even adoration, they tend to sweep into a leaderless group and take charge.

The more emotionally attached you get, the easier it will be for a narcissist to manipulate you. Often, however, being dazzled by first impressions turns sour because of their manipulativeness, lack of empathy, and demand for adoration.

The following nine characteristics distinguish someone who has Narcissistic Personality Disorder, according to the DSM-IV which is a clinician’s “Bible” for diagnosing disorders. NPD is a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts.

1. Has a grandiose sense of self-importance
2. Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power and love
3. Believes s/he is special and unique
4. Requires extensive admiration
5. Has a sense of entitlement
6. Is interpersonally exploitative
7. Lacks empathy
8. Is envious of others or believes that others are envious or him/her
9. Shows arrogant or haughty behaviors

Six elements should be noted. 1) There is a fine line between being an extravert and a narcissist. 2) There is such a thing as healthy narcissism which forms a constant, realistic self-interest, mature goals and principles, and an ability to form deep relationships. 3) Healthy narcissism is the antithesis of the insecurity or inadequacy that plague a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. 4) A certain amount of narcissism is a required element within normal development. 5) We all are narcissistic to one degree or another. 6) Although there are female narcissists, the majority are males.

Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth

For more than four and a half years I have been interviewing experts, thought leaders and everyday people on Relationship issues on my internet radio shows. Week after week since 2009, the listeners to my weekly Relationships101 show on WebTalkRadio, have numbered in the 10’s of thousands. That led me to conclude the information I present to my radio audience is considered by my listeners to be valuable enough to devote their precious time. I have come to realize, and many others have told me, that my three and one half decades of learning, teaching and counseling have provided me with a treasure trove of information should be shared with the world.

Receive my Daily Words of Wisdom FREE for 30 days go to http://tinyurl.com/3sqallo

Sharing my insights into what is going on in the world around us is now a reality and my vehicle to share this with you is a subscription-only Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth. I have been working diligently, writing my fingers to the bone to prepare these special offerings for you. It is now ready to launch and to introduce you to the Daily Words of Wisdom of Dr. Beth I am going to give you a 30 DAYS OF THIS VALUABLE INFORMATION FREE!!!

After the first 30 days, the cost is only $1.49 a week and your credit card will be billed $6.46 on the 30th day and for each succeeding 30 days after that. You can start receiving them for yourself now by clicking here. So what are you going to get for this investment of 21 cents a day. Seven days a week in your inbox will be my new post of my Daily Words of Wisdom and they will be an a wide range of topics; Each one will be mind candy for you to chew on as you go about your day.

In those first 30 days I believe you will come to recognize the value of the insights I’m sharing from my 35+ years of learning, teaching, and helping couples, families, and individuals overcome impediments to their happiness and success. I personally believe you will find great value in this product. I invite you to dialogue with me, and even suggest potential topics you’d like me to write about. You may do this either by going to www.AskDrBethErickson.com or by sending me an e-mail at drbetherickson@aol.com.

Because we all march to a different drummer, as they say, you may find that some of my Daily Words of Wisdom messages are more applicable to you than others. That is only natural. I have deliberately varied the topics I write about, so just wait a day or two, and I’ll bet another one will tickle your fancy.

Receive my Daily Words of Wisdom FREE for 30 days go to http://tinyurl.com/3sqallo

NOTE: When you join, you'll receive an acknowledgement email from me and a second email with a confirmation link that you will need to click on to confirm that you want to receive Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth.

You Can Never Have Too Much Information

It is a truism that you can never have too much information. Given that fact I have after substantial thought and conversations with several people have determined to create a daily letter to those people interested in learning a psychologists take on issues of the day and other valuable insights. I have been working diligently, writing my fingers to the bone to prepare these Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth.

To demonstrate the value of this information I am initially giving it away for free. For the first 30 days after you sign up each morning you will have an article delivered to your inbox.

Features:

• After you sign up, you will receive in your e-mail inbox daily (that means all 7 days a week!) Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth posts written by yours truly on a range of topics of interest.
• They are mind candy for you to chew on as you go about your days.
• For the first 30 days after you sign up, the Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth will be free. In that time, I believe you will come to recognize the value of the insights I’m sharing from my 35+ years of learning, teaching, and helping couples, families, and individuals overcome impediments to their happiness and success.
• After the first 30 days, the cost is only $1.49 a week.
• Your credit card will be billed $6.46 for each succeeding 30-day period.
• You can sign up by going to my web site (http://www.drbetherickson.com/). On the bottom left of Dr. Beth’s home page you will find a link to take you directly to the sign up page.
• If you unsubscribe, you will receive no
more Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth during the free period and if it is during a paid period the daily posts will stop after the final day of the paid period. No refunds will be provided for cancelled subscriptions.
• Of course, I believe you will find great value and will continue. I invite you to dialogue with me, and even suggest potential topics you’d like me to write about. You may do this either by going to www.AskDrBethErickson.com or by sending me an e-mail at drbetherickson@aol.com.
• You may find that some Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth posts are more interesting to you than others. That is only natural. I have deliberately varied the topics I write about, so just wait a day or two, and I’ll bet another one will strike your fancy.

Benefits:

• These Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth posts provide food for thought on a wide range of topics as you go about your daily activities, such as commuting, doing chores, or planning your company’s next initiatives.
• With them, you will be able to capitalize on my over three and a half decades as a practicing psychotherapist on news of the day, such as the self-destruction of the political careers of Anthony Wiener, John Edwards, John Ensign, and Mark Sanford, or the aftermath of the earthquake, tsunami and nuclear plant meltdown in Japan.
• You will also get a psychologist’s perspective on important topics such as the impact on children of their parents’ descent into poverty and homelessness, or on children of incarcerated parents, or the impact of technology on kids’ brain development.
• Likewise, some Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth posts will be on important relationship enhancing skills and how to build them, such as appropriate ways to share feelings, top five secrets for staying in love, the uses and abuses of anger, and talking to children about death.
• Bottom line, you’ll be smarter and better informed on a wide range of topics when you subscribe.
• So let me do your homework for you.

Check out this 30 DAYS ARE FREE exciting offer!!! It’s a subscription-only Daily Words of Wisdom from Dr. Beth SIGN UP TODAY AT (http://tinyurl.com/3rafcld)

Dedicated to your health and happiness,
Dr. Beth

Better Marriages Fiesta in Albuquerque New Mexico

On Saturday, July 9, at 8:30 am I will be at the Better Marriages Fiesta in Albuquerque New Mexico presenting my Relationship Boot Camp. I will teach you the seven basic skills couples need to learn and practice in order to have a healthy, happy marriage. This workshop will discuss and demonstrate these skills, and allow participants to practice them. To register and learn more about this event go to http://www.bettermarriages.org/

What Is Posttraumatic Stress Disorder?

On my radio show that airs today, I interview a man who has struggled with Posttraumatic Stress Order (PTSD) since 1979 when the airplane he was flying crashed. I listed a few of the prominent diagnostic indicators of this condition on air and promised that I would post the rest on my web site. Here they are, excerpted from the Diagnostic Criteria from DSM-IV. The DSM is the clinician’s Bible for diagnosing mental illnesses.

A. The person has been exposed to a traumatic event in which both of the following
were present:

(1)The person experienced, witnessed, or was confronted with an event or events that involved actual or threatened death or serious injury, or a threat to the physical integrity of self or others.

(2)The person’s response involved intense fear, helplessness, or horror.

B. The traumatic event is persistently reexperienced in one (or more) of the following ways:

(1)recurrent and intrusive distressing recollections of the event, including images, thoughts, or perceptions;

(2)recurrent distressing dreams of the event;

(3)acting or feeling as if the traumatic event were recurring (includes a sense of reliving the experience, illusions, hallucinations, and dissociative flashback episodes, including those that occur on awakening or when intoxicated);

(4)intense psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event;

(5)physiological reactivity on exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event.

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the trauma and numbing of general responsiveness (not present before the trauma) as indicated by three (or more) of the following:

(1)efforts to avoid thoughts, feelings, or conversation associated with the trauma;

(2)efforts to avoid activities, places, or people that arouse recollections of the trauma;

(3)inability to recall an important aspect of the trauma;

(4)markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities;

(5)feelings of detachment or estrangement from others;

(6)restricted range of affect ( e.g., unable to have loving feelings)

(7)sense of a foreshortened future (e.g., does not expect to have a career, marriage, children, or a normal life span).

D. Persistent symptoms of increased arousal (not present before the trauma), as indicated by two (or more) of the following:

(1)difficulty falling asleep;

(2)irritability or outbursts of anger;

(3)difficulty concentrating;

(4)hypervigilance

(5)exaggerated startle response;

E.Duration of the disturbance (symptoms in Criteria B, C, and D) is more than one month.

F.Disturbance causes clinically significant distress or impairment in social, occupational, or other important areas of functioning.

Acute: if duration of symptoms is less than three months

Chronic: if duration of symptoms is three months or more

With delayed onset: if onset of symptoms is at least six months after the stressor.

As you look over this list of symptoms of PTSD, imagine the stress that this condition places on the individual who has this illness, as well as on his/her intimate relationship.

Do You Know - Number Two

DID YOU KNOW . . .

Family spending on a child born in 2009 would total $286,050 by age 17. A two-child family would cost about $600,000.

*Source: Newsweek August 16, 2010

What I don’t know is what makes up that number. Is it only specific expense outlays for the child or does it include a pro rata share of the family vacations, cost of housing, the family car(s) or what? The average annual cost then is $16,853 for a child and $35,294 for two children.

Hard to image any average middle class family having that much money, I would just like to have a breakdown of how those numbers were compiled.

You know the old expression by Mark Twain, “there are lies, damned lies and then there are statistics.

One more U.S. statistic for you to ponder. In 2005, the median personal income for the population age 25 or older was $39,336. (Median means the one in the middle so half of the workers earn less and half of the workers earn more.)

For more information, feel free to contact me at drbetherickson@aol.com or 888-546-1580.

Do You Know - Number One

DID YOU KNOW . . .

Children who eat dinner with their families at least five times a week are 40 times less likely to be overweight.

I hypothesize that this is because the shared family connection nourishes them far better than sweet or salty snacks.

Ideally, each person gets an opportunity to add to the conversation that goes on around the table. Even babies can be encouraged to join the conversation, even if only gibberish.

A shared family meal gives everyone the vehicle for keeping in touch with each other and therefore, it offers the opportunity to strengthen the fabric of that family’s life. At the same time, it builds the self-esteem and sense of belonging of even the smallest family member.